


Just Hold on to Me

by ReeLeeV



Series: Angst [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 04:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10549818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReeLeeV/pseuds/ReeLeeV
Summary: Hoseok remains by Kihyun's side day and night. The doctors say the younger may never awaken... Surely they're wrong.





	

 

Hoseok walks down the pristine hallway, his footsteps becoming heavier the further he goes. He can't believe this is happening. It feels almost like a dream, though he knows this is no dream. This is a nightmare.

He comes to the room he's looking for. It was hell leaving for the hour he had, but the others had pretty much forced him out. He hadn't left for days, worried the younger man in the bed would awaken without him there. He couldn't bring himself to even imagine how his love would react if he woke up without himself at his side. He'd never hear the end of it…

Of course, if he feels up to nagging him as soon as he wakes up, Hoseok couldn't be happier.

He enters the room, earning a curious glance from Minhyuk and Jooheon.

“Hyung,” Jooheon says softly, standing from the couch. He smiles, his dimples appearing within his cheeks. They can't even compare to the dimples of the young man in the coma, though. Hoseok glances over questioningly at Kihyun, his pale pallor and unmoving body being all the indication he needs that nothing's changed in his absence.

"Would you like us to stay?” Minhyuk asks, offering the older a gentle smile. Hoseok tries for a grin, though he knows he fails miserably.

“I'd like to be alone with him, if that's okay,” Hoseok answers. Minhyuk nods, standing from the couch and gathering his and Jooheon's things. They pass Hoseok, giving him a supportive hug.

“Make sure you eat something, hyung,” Jooheon tells the older. “Kihyun-hyung wouldn't want you to starve while waiting for him.” Hoseok hums in acknowledgment, and the couple has to fight back a sigh as they turn to leave the room.

Hoseok rubs at his eyes tiredly, moving to take the empty seat by Kihyun's bed. He sits, and reaches across the cheap cotton sheets to grasp his love’s small fingers. What he wouldn't give to see these fingers working hard on a meal, or cleaning their apartment whilst the owner nags at him for leaving his shoes by the door again. Hoseok can't help but smile at the memories these thoughts bring about, but it falls almost immediately at remembering why they're here in the first place.

  
It had been a normal morning. Kihyun had gotten up a bit earlier than Hoseok to cook them both breakfast. He had awoken Hoseok with a gentle, almost teasing kiss. However, both were already running a bit late, so they couldn't take anything as far as they'd have liked. It was a rush to get out of the apartment, for neither could afford to be late to work again.

Hoseok managed to make it to work on time, for once. His boss had seemed thoroughly impressed with him for that. He dedicated himself to working hard that day, as if now having something to prove to his superior.

But, around his lunch break, he had gotten an emergency call from the hospital.

“There was an accident on the freeway,” the gentle voice on the other line had said. “I'm afraid your husband is—”

“He's alive,” Hoseok had interrupted, panic causing his voice to quiver. “Please tell me he's alive.”

“He is alive,” she says slowly, as if speaking to a frightened animal, “but he's suffered from some major injuries. He's in a coma, and… Well, the doctor would like to speak with you in person.”

Hoseok hadn't even bothered saying goodbye to the bearer of bad news, nor did he pause to tell anyone where he was going or what had happened. He just left. He went straight to the hospital, not even stopping to so much as blink until he was face to face with the doctor working Kihyun's case.

“It's unclear if he'll ever wake up,” the doctor had told him gently, looking over the clipboard in his hands. “He's suffered from some head trauma, among other things.”

“He'll wake up,” Hoseok had insisted, taking a seat beside Kihyun's bed. “He's strong. I know he'll wake up.”

  
Tears begin to well up in Hoseok's eyes at the memory. He grasps his lover’s hand tighter, silently pleading with him.

“Please,” he whispers, his voice cracking, “wake up, Kihyunnie. Please, wake up for me. Just open your eyes. Blink. Move a finger. Something.” He has to pause, swallowing hard as he wipes away his now-falling tears with his free hand before moving it to hold onto Kihyun even tighter. “Don't leave me,” he begs.

“Please, Kihyunnie. I can't live without you. Who'll wake up next to me in the morning, and who will I hold at night? Who's going to nag at me about all the things I leave around the apartment? Who else can tell me where I last put down my phone or keys whenever I misplace them? Who…” He has to stop again, shaking his head as he grits his teeth to continue. It's becoming hard to breathe, oxygen coming in as short pants through his growing grief. His heart constricts in his chest, as if forbidding him to continue.

“Who else am I supposed to have a family with if not you?”

He can't stand it anymore. He's been strong throughout these endless days and nights. Exhaustion and desperation seep into him, and the tears flow like a salty waterfall from his eyes. He struggles to breathe, and drops his head against the bed sheet. His tears soak into the unfeeling cloth. He wishes his worries and troubles could disappear with them.

  
Weeks pass, and Hoseok never leaves Kihyun's side. He's using up all his vacation and sick days at work, but he doesn't care. It's worth it if he can be near Kihyun in the younger’s time of need. Their friends come to visit and make sure Hoseok is doing the minimum to take care of himself, and to lift his spirits as much as they can. They always have to leave him on his own, though, and can't help but worry for him and Kihyun until they manage to return.

  
Hoseok is half-asleep, his head lying next to Kihyun's unconscious form. It's been a few days since anyone has come by, and Hoseok can't help but wonder if it's because they're losing hope. He knows he must seem like a naïve fool to anyone who isn't close to the situation, but he doesn't care. He'll die of old age beside this hospital bed if he has to, just so long as he doesn't leave Kihyun alone.

"We’ll get a dog the minute you're feeling better,” Hoseok murmurs. “I know how much you've been wanting a dog, so as soon as you're home with me we can get you one. Besides, a dog would be a great thing to have around when we start having kids. Our kids would love dogs, just like you.” It's becoming a battle with himself to stay awake, but he tries to shake it off. He wants to speak with Kihyun as much as possible.

“I'll cook us dinner your first night home,” he promises. “Or, if you'd rather, we can order out. We can get delivery from that fried chicken place you love so much. I know that isn't exactly the best thing to eat right after getting out of the hospital, but I'm sure you want something more than this crappy hospital food.”

“I promise I'll start making more of an effort around the apartment,” Hoseok yawns out. “I'll put my shoes away when I come in, and help you with the dishes every night. I'll help you on big cleaning days without complaint. You'll never have anything to nag me about ever again. I'll be the perfect husband you've always deserved. Just wait and see.” He pauses, trying to think of something else to talk to his husband about.

“Hyungwon and Changkyunnie are getting a kitten,” he says. “They say they're pretty nervous about it, taking care of another living thing. I'm sure they'll do fine, though. They're more responsible than they give themselves credit for.”

Hoseok goes on like this until he falls asleep, talking about anything he can think of. However, despite his best efforts, he drifts off to a place where everything is how it should be. Kihyun at home, cooking the group dinner for their weekly get-together. Hoseok holding him from behind as he works, nuzzling his face into the younger’s neck. Kihyun telling him to back off to let him focus, but Hoseok refusing, chuckling lowly in his throat as he tightens his hold on the shorter.

He sighs, content with the dream forming in his mind.

  
The machines beep away in the silent room. Hoseok hums in his sleep, shifting slightly in his seat to nuzzle his head closer to the younger’s thigh. It's late at night in the hospital, only the night nurses and few doctors on shift awake within the building.

Hoseok suddenly bolts awake, as if hearing something new in the room. He looks around, though he doesn't see that anyone has come in. He sighs, leaning back to stretch his back and neck. He glances over at the clock, and can't help but groan at the time displayed.

"Ho… seok.”

Hoseok lurches forward, swearing he's just heard something come from the younger man on the bed. His heart claws its way up his throat, wondering if he should dare to hope. For the first couple of weeks, he'd awaken in the middle of the night because he swore he'd heard his love’s voice. However, he had only been delirious then.

He stares intently at Kihyun's lips, waiting for even just a hint of movement.

However, he remains still.

Hoseok sighs, shaking his head at himself.

“I’ll wait as long as I need to Kihyunnie,” he whispers into the empty air. “It took me so long to find you. I’m never going to let go.”

“H-Ho…s-seok.”

Hoseok glances up once more, though this time a bit slower.

Suddenly, the younger’s head lurches to the side, slowly but surely.

“Kihyun-ah!” Hoseok shouts, standing up so fast he accidentally knocks his chair back. It falls to the floor with a loud clatter, but Hoseok pays it no mind. “Kihyunnie, please, open your eyes. Can you do that for me?”

“Where…” Kihyun whispers, his voice frail. He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Where are we?”

“Just open your eyes,” Hoseok says, joyous tears brimming at the edges of his eyes. “Please, baby. For me.”

Kihyun opens his mouth to say something else, but pauses. His eyelids feel like pure lead, but he manages to crack them open slightly. A weak smile breaks out over his features at seeing his husband’s tear-streaked face, a strangled chuckle escaping him. It feels as if he hasn’t spoken in a long time, though he can’t tell why. He doesn’t even remember where he is. Last thing he can remember is driving home. His boss had let him go home after only working a half day. Kihyun had wanted to get home to cook Hoseok a special dinner. It had been a while since their last date night, and he thought it would be a nice surprise for the older to come home to a candlelit dinner of ramyeon.

However, something had happened that kept him from getting home.

He licks his lips, it finally coming back to him. There had been an accident in front of him. He hadn’t seen, too caught up in his own giddy thoughts for the night to see what was happening. His heartbeat quickens with alarm as he remembers, and he looks away to see the machines beside him, the beeping reflecting his heart rate.

“How long have I been here?” he asks, his voice already a bit stronger, though he isn't sure he wants to know, judging from how Hoseok hasn’t stopped crying since he woke up.

“Doctor!” Hoseok bellows, separating himself from Kihyun to go out into the hallway. He pauses, bending down to place a rejoicing kiss on Kihyun’s chapped lips before continuing. Kihyun can’t help but laugh again at Hoseok’s happiness, though it’s quickly halted by guilt. If only he’d have been more careful, hadn’t have allowed himself to be so distracted while driving… Hoseok must’ve been going through hell.

  
A doctor comes in the room with a nurse in tow, and they do the typical checkup of Kihyun’s vitals and motor functions. They ask how many fingers they’re holding up, what year it is, and conclude that Kihyun has miraculously come out of the coma without any memory loss. They leave the two alone after some time, knowing the couple would want to be alone. The doctor promises to come back in a few hours to make sure Kihyun is still doing fine, and shuts the door closed behind him.

  
“I knew you’d wake up,” Hoseok murmurs, still crying. He showers the younger with kisses all along his face and jawline. Kihyun giggles soundlessly at the affection, not having the heart to push him away. “I promise, Kihyun-ah, as soon as we get home, I’m going to clean everything and cook us dinner and—”

“Hyung,” Kihyun interrupts softly. “I need to know… How long was I out?”

“A month-and-a-half,” Hoseok answers, his voice breaking. He sits down on the bed, grasping the younger’s hand tightly. Kihyun’s heart falls at the older’s words, his guilt only growing.

He’s silent for some time, not knowing what to say to his husband. He can’t even imagine what it would’ve been like if he were in Hoseok’s shoes, waiting for a sign that may never come. He can’t believe how lucky he is to have had Hoseok by his side, never giving up on him.

“Can I get you anything?” Hoseok asks gently. He reaches forward with light fingers to brush the bangs out of Kihyun’s eyes, and Kihyun can’t help but lean into the touch. Kihyun feels as if he doesn’t have the right to ask the older of anything right now after everything he’s put him through. However, something comes to mind that he can’t hold in.

“Just hold on to me?”

Hoseok smiles gently. He lies down next to the younger, wrapping his strong arms around his small body. Kihyun snuggles close, reveling in the touch. They heave a collective sigh, one of relief and contentment.

“I love you, Hoseok-ah,” Kihyun murmurs. “Thank you for staying with me. I’m sorry all of this happened. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

"I’ll never leave you, Kihyunnie,” Hoseok murmurs to him, squeezing him tighter. “I love you.”

Kihyun smiles at the older’s words, and snuggles closer in response. Soon enough, Hoseok’s breaths are coming out evenly, punctuated every so often by a light snore. Kihyun chuckles at this, his heart warming at the sound.

Kihyun sighs, silently vowing to make Hoseok the biggest pot of ramyeon the moment they get home.


End file.
